I married a playground bully

A few weeks ago we had a kid's birthday party to go to at the park. Ryan had taken Lincoln over to the playground to play and started waving some bubbles around for Lincoln to chase (I won't explain why Ryan had bubbles on him, he just did). Usually Lincoln would have LOVED this, but at the park with a playground calling his name, he ran off to bigger and better things.

You would think Ryan would have put the bubbles away since his own child wasn't interested in them, but no. Not in this case. There was this random boy, maybe 5 years old, who saw them and went crazy over the bubbles, like real crazy excited. He started chasing the bubbles and laughing and swatting the bubbles with this sweet balloon sword he had with him. Ryan, being the thoughtful guy he is, kept the bubbles flowing for this random little bubble-loving boy.

This little boy was chasing a particular bubble. Unfortunately, like many other kids, he wasn't looking where he was going. Alas, the inevitable happened. He biffed it. He biffed it real good. He didn't just biff it though, he biffed it and landed on his rad balloon sword and POP! followed by loud crying.

The mother came running over to her son to console him, which was the exact moment I started walking away from the crime scene. Picture this: the crying boy rubbing his hurt leg and realizing his balloon popped, the mother dusting him off and probably giving Ryan the "stink-eye" for inadvertently hurting her child, and then there was Ryan. My 6'7 husband with a bubble wand in his hand who suddenly (because Lincoln wasn't by his side and his wife was slowly distancing herself) looked like some creeper who came to the park by himself, armed with a bubble wand, luring little children so he can crush their spirits, and in this case, destroy sword balloons.

Lesson to be learned here children: watch where you are running and leave your sword balloons at home.

Anyway, onto my boys. who just so happened to celebrate 2 years and 2 months this past week. :) I'll exclude the picture where Lincoln actually did poke Simon's eye out. And because grandma is my one faithful blog reader, I already know I'm going to get a phone call about how I need to keep an eye (pun intended) on Lincoln more so that he doesn't hurt Simon because Simon is a like a little baby bird that is fragile... Don't worry grandma, he still has another eye that's working okay!!!!! :)

And a random purchase of buying a remote for our camera turned into quite a battle with Lincoln. Once I showed him what it did, he would not hand it over. Lots of random pictures with the top of Lincoln's head, like this one. 

He did manage to get a nice one of all three of us...thanks to my inconspicuous death grip I had around his waist so he would stay on my lap. You think this smile is from soaking in the love I have for my two boys? Yes, but more so a "look who's in control now" smile. 

 Life is good with this ridiculously good looking 2 month old of mine. 

RIP white onesie

See this white onesie I so foolishly placed on my child. It's now in our garbage can. Let me explain why.....

^^^^^^ Lincoln's hair is a large target to photograph around... 

CHECK OUT THIS STUD MUFFIN ^^^ 

I don't do laundry often. I like to let it pile high and wide and have us all run out of clothes, towels, underwear, and socks before I do laundry. The other day, after I had gone through the ENTIRE house and washed everything, I was quite pleased our laundry situation was taken care of for awhile. Why is it, the moment I finish all our laundry, Simon decides he wants to massacre his clothes?

Poop mid-diaper change is what killed this white onesie. I had no other clothes to wash with it and there was no way I was doing anymore handwashing (too much of that lately). Thus, it's in the garbage can.

Which brings me to one more point about laundry and baby clothes. WHY, someone please tell me why, do we even have white baby clothes? I only blame myself for putting it on him. From now on, Simon will only get to wear brown, black, navy blue, forest green, and mustard yellow clothing. I'll reinstate white once he can get a better hold of his bowel movements.

until then, i'll just count down till summer. Naked kiddos day and night!!!!!

Wanna know what pure boredom looks like? ^^^^^^^

And lastly, mother of the year award for letting her toddler play with choking-hazard-toys right next to a baby. Don't call C.P.S. on me, I plopped this beautifully robed body of mine in between the two boys and kept a keen eye on all those green triangles. We're only missing one...

Simon's one month

There's this re-initiation phase into parenthood after every child, I've decided. There's similar challenges as the first child; then there's all this new stuff you imagined in your head, but didn't actually expect you'd have to go through with the second. I'm being reminded of past experiences with Lincoln, but Simon is making sure to create some original memories for himself.

So here's life lately, from one to two kids.

I found out, very quickly, how there is very little time for myself during the day. Making myself a meal and sitting down to eat peacefully??? Will that ever happen again? So it's pretty much me snacking here and there when I get the chance. I grabbed a handful of chocolate chips (seems like a nutritious option when I can't get a full meal) and was eating some while feeding Simon. I might have felt one drop; okay I did feel one drop because I remember taking like half a second to find it, but didn't.

A few hours later, Lincoln and I were in the living room playing trains, and he looked over at me, pointed at me, and said, "YUCK!" I look down to my chest and see this nasty brown shmear. What the?? Oh! The chocolate chip! Somehow stuck and melted to my chest. Lovely.

                                     

Also, I smell different due to this concoction Simon created. It's an equal blend of spit-up, urine, and poop. I just want to store the smell in the fanciest bottle and keep it for special occasions when I want to feel extra MOM!

One night, as I rocked Simon after a night feeding, I had him projectile vomit all over me. No big deal, just use my bare hand to rub it into my shirt more. I started falling asleep rocking him, but was woken up with a warm sensation on my stomach. Yes, urine. It was a cooler night, so it was his way of warming me up I guess.

That morning, I was able to sneak in a quick shower. WOW! A shower is so refreshing. I went in to make a green smoothie for breakfast that morning and Lincoln insisted on pushing the blender button. So I put the blender close enough for him to push the button, and when I pulled it away and took the lid off, he reached to push the button just one more time...

Green smoothie EVERYWHERE. All over Lincoln, all over me, and did I mention I was holding Simon? Well, it was all over Simon too. And this all happened as Simon was crying to be fed. I haphazardly wiped us off, and then hurried over to feed Simon to calm him. As I'm feeding Simon and using his blanket to wipe out smoothie from his hair, I feel and hear the biggest rumble on my lap. And almost instantly, my hand is wet. Complete and major blow-out. Perfect timing Simon. I say that only half sarcastically because the other half really did think it was perfect timing. I mean, we're all dirty from the smoothie, might as well smear some poop on us too.

Now for some more learning experiences as a parent:

1. Sometimes, toddlers need to be served their meal in courses.
Is it normal to serve a toddler his meal in courses? I've never seen or heard anyone doing this, but I do. And I tell ya, it helps. Since we always struggle with having him eat veggies, I give veggies to him first with nothing else on his plate. If he's hungry enough, he'll eat a couple. THEN, I will give him his actual meal. It's a pain, but a mom has got to do what a mom has got to do...

2. They will become a parrot.
We are learning quickly, now that Lincoln is talking more and more, that he will repeat anything we say. Example, the other night at dinner, as we sat down, Lincoln extended his arm towards me and pointed at my food and said in a commanding voice, "EAT!" It was quite hysterical, and I'm sure you would find it funnier if you actually saw him say it. He hears and sees me say that to him several times a day so his impersonation was pretty dead on.

3. Spiritual little giants.
This is my absolute favorite. Family prayers at night, seeing my little boy on his knees, arms folded, and sometimes closing his eyes (usually he's peeking around though). I know I shouldn't be so distracted during a prayer, but I can't help but just watch him the entire time. And as we close our prayer, he yells out, "AMEN!" And then there's prayer time before we eat. He folds his arms to remind us to pray. We'll say a prayer to bless the food, and if I'm standing in the kitchen as the boys pray at the table, the moment I sit down to join them, he says prayer again! Our food usually gets two blessings in this house.

4. The floor becomes a war zone.
A war zone AND a death trap. Especially in the middle of the night when the house is dark and you walk across the living room and your son's plastic helicopter spears the bottom of your tender foot. I'm not sure how many times I've stepped on that cursed helicopter. I swore that if it happened one more time I would chuck it at the wall and then burn it and throw it away.

Well Simon, you've been surprisingly easy on your mother. Either you're easier or I'm less stressed this time around.....probably a little of both. You have been held and kissed many many times by your brother. You don't seem thrilled by it, but you put up with it. Happy one month!

And one last thing... 

It's something you're working on, but as soon as you open your eyes, they're usually looking in different directions. You give us the creepy eye pretty often and we get a good laugh. I caught a picture of it with a little spit up action. You crack me up. You're still adorable, though!