Jan 16, 2015


One morning, maybe like around 4am, Lincoln wasn't sleeping well because he had been sick. I was way too tired and just brought him back to bed with me and he finally fell back asleep. I was laying there, trying to fall back asleep myself when my little sleeping Lincoln softly and slowly muttered the words, "chooooo-choooo". I tell ya, it was one of the sweetest moments EVER!!!! One of those moments that you'll remember and tell him about one day when he is old enough. I can still here exactly how it sounded too. The sweetest choo-choo train noise you've ever heard. Now I know what he dreams about.

I told Ryan we should let Lincoln sleep with us one night. He's never really slept the whole night with us because having our kids in our bed with us hasn't been anything we've wanted. Even when we brought Lincoln home from the hospital, he was in our room one, maybe two, nights total before we both decided he needs to be in his own room. Our bed is our bed.

Don't get me wrong, there are rare occasions where I would bring him into bed if he was sick and having trouble sleeping. But he was only in our bed long enough to fall back asleep and then I would take him back.

SO, here comes my experience. My sister-in-law had posted this sappy poem online about how there's always a "last time" with your kids. So sappy, in fact, that it literally made me cry reading it. There will be a "last time" that you carry your child on your hip, and a "last time" for singing "Wheels on the bus" and a "last time" they'll crawl into your bed because they had a bad dream... And how we need to cherish these moments because they don't last forever. And that's when it hit me, I wanted Lincoln to sleep in bed with us for a night. Just to have his sweet little body there, all peaceful and cute.

I talked to Ryan about it; I even quoted some lines from the poem, which I think is what helped win him over with the idea. He agreed, I was happy, but that all changed----quickly. We had Lincoln fall asleep in his bed (since he wouldn't fall asleep with us in our bed-- too exciting for him) and then brought him into our bed once he was asleep. I was so giddy having our toddler sleeping with us for the first time for the whole night. It was so hard to fall asleep with him next to me, but eventually I did......and then eventually, I couldn't stay asleep!!!!!! Reality hit me hard. It was the worst!!!!! He smacked me in the face I don't know how many times, he would kick me in the stomach or judo chop me in the throat. He breathed way too loud for me to ignore. And I had no room at all. We have a king size bed, but I had Lincoln more on my half, so that Ryan wouldn't be disturbed. It was my idea after all.... I couldn't let Ryan think my idea was the result of his poor night's sleep. Pretty much Ryan had half the bed, Lincoln had the other half of the bed, and I had the very edge. And don't get me started about when he woke up in the morning. I'm used to slowly waking up, but Lincoln just popped up and started shoving his finger up my nose and jabbing my eye out. Not exactly how I want to wake up.

On to more pleasant times with our boy. 

This week I went in for my 38 week appointment and was 3 cm dilated. The doctor says he'd be surprised if I even made it to 39 weeks. I was thrilled..... until I realized I now have one week to get those little things done I need to before baby boy 2 comes. And then I went into panic mode. I'M NOT READY!!!!!!! No wait, yes I am. NO I'M NOT. YES, yes I am. NO. I'm not!!! You catch my drift. Anyway, leave it to Ryan to calm me down. He's my tranquilizer when I'm getting out of control. :)

So the next day I decided to take Lincoln out, just me and him, and have a fun day together before his brother comes. We went to the children's museum. I love that place as much as he does. I tried to just soak him up, as much as I could, and enjoyed every moment. I would get excited when he got excited about something, I let him drag me and my big belly in every direction he wanted to go....Man it was exhausting. But really, I'll cherish that day forever.
We ended the night by going to get us some doughnuts!!! I don't let him have many sweets.... so this was like, "ENJOY THIS DAY BUDDY. YOU GET A DOUGHNUT FOR DINNER!!!" Here I am trying to be "fun" and spoil him with krispy kreme... but guess what?!? This kid of mine wouldn't eat his doughnut!!! The glaze was too sticky on his hands so he wouldn't touch it..... and even when I tried to hand feed it to him, he would take a tiny bite and shake his head no! So I sat there, big belly and all, and ate my chocolate sprinkled donut and his glazed donut while he sat and watched me. He came home and ate an apple spinach pancake and yogurt. HA!